Quarantine Mentality vs. Compassion Mentality
It’s all right and it’s all wrong for someone. Productivity vs relaxing, guilt vs grief - I have seen all of the memes/GIFs/quotes/tweets related to how we should and shouldn’t be during this season. The reality is - they are all right and they are all wrong for someone.
Sort of like dating.
You + Charlie = Hallmark movie.
You + Morgan = Lifetime movie.
Same you, very different kinds of movies. My point here is that in this season of information and opinion overload, it’s important to listen to what you need and move in that direction. For me? I’ve chosen to make time to get things organized, deep clean, read all the books for work I’ve been collecting, and learn some new recipes. For me, I am starting projects I’ve been wanting to start and moving forward with creative projects. I have also chosen to rest. For some, it’s sitting still and catching up with TV. For others, it’s finally starting therapy and taking time for introspection.
Notice that I am not saying that you need to forget the needs of others. What I am saying is that if you try to follow the opinions (or viral tweets) of others, opinions based on their own personal needs that may not be suitable for you, you will not get very far. For every quote that says X there is a tweet that says Y. Once you recognize what you need in this season, and allow yourself to make space to acknowledge your needs - you then have the capacity to also notice and acknowledge the needs of others.
You can focus exclusively on the quarantine and the current inability to engage in your usual work, social and/or entertainment practices. You can focus exclusively on the collective grief you may be experiencing - at the loss of people, experiences, or things. Or, you can choose to also focus on practicing compassion - both for yourself and for others.
“Compassion is not a virtue - it is a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have - it’s something we choose to practice.”
That is one of my favorite Brené Brown quotes. She also says, “We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.” What does this mean? It means that you need to acknowledge our losses. You can acknowledge and grieve your losses while also not comparing your losses to that of your neighbor. You must allow yourself to experience the emotions related to whatever it is you may be missing in this season. In order to practice compassion, both for yourself and for others, you decide to choose compassion in addition to acknowledging the whole list of your emotions and needs
Whether you feel led to be highly productive in this season, to slow everything down because you need to process the grief connected to this season, or do a little bit of both - you are right.
Bloopers:
Googled “words that rhyme with quarantine” for a cute-sy blog name. The results were not pretty.